harrystylesdildo:

Introducing your kids to people

(via dumbledores-bumbledoor)

  • Cop: Have you been drinking?
  • Me: I been drankin'
  • Cop: Surfbort
  • Me: Surfbort

byeboi:

negritaaa:

TSA: are u carrying any firearms or explosives?

Me: *points to crotch* u mean this bomb pussy?

TSA: why do u always do this?

Lmfao

(via stylefordays)